Money Matters!!!

I would never understand a human being who blames money for something evil. You could as well call all the knife owners to be murderers, all the matchbox or lighter owners to be assassins, it's exactly the same with money, It's just a tool. How do you expect a mere piece of paper to do anything unless there is a human mind working behind it.
You say money creates fights, no it doesn't, fight is created by idiots who think that just because they want the money, everyone will give it to them, well, you did nothing to deserve it, you won't get it. They they try to seize it by force, so actually it is your filthy greed which creates fights, not money.
You want everyone else to respect you, please respect your own mind and work first, take responsibility for it, stop blaming it on God, or money or the evil or good in the world, these things are mostly just in theory, when you are materially present on earth, do something worth your existence. Living in someone's memory is for may be one generation, but living in a legacy like a mansion or a business empire is what makes someone immortal for ages... for generations... to be part of history books. And mind you, it's not easy. Showing someone that you love them maybe costs nothing, but actually doing something to make their life easier costs a lot, including the abuse from those people who you love, because in most cases they are going to misunderstand you for being selfish, they won't see that your work improves their quality of life, they get used to it, they expect just more & more till you drain out, is it what you call Love? And still money is evil, which comes to you only when you deserve it. Have you seen anyone who doesn't deserve it to actually make or sustain a grant? You won't because it has a solid ground, not like theoretical morals which could be right or wrong depending on situation. This is a solid fact, if you have the capacity in your head and body, you make it, otherwise you don't. there is not subjectivity.
It has always made me cringe away from people who ask me to sacrifice for someone's happiness... what did I do to deserve the suffering? Why am I being penalized for competence? How would you expect a person to spread happiness from the core of suffering? It never happens and that is the reality. You can't get fragrance from a gutter and the flowers are not going to stink unless they rot. It's the rotten minds who come up with such rotten ideas. Be yourself, make sure you are happy first, put your oxygen mask first, because you can't help anyone if you are not alert, you can't keep other people happy when you are miserable. And you certainly can't love anyone if you are full of hatred for yourself for being competent just because a hypocrite society says so.  

A way to recycle

Writing after a long time gives a sort of rush which nothing else does for me. I have been pretty busy these days. So, I just thought of writing about my most interesting project.

There is this very good looking designer in CA, who comes down to India often. This time I met him through a friend. Well, looking at his designs I was surprised. The idea of recycling has always appealed to me, but I never thought it could be so beautiful. The clothes designed with old crochet material, blankets, and other fabrics. Such an elegant use of things we consider as rags and probably won't even look back twice. So, I decided to promote him and started a twitter handle for him @lordvonschmitt . The kind of response it is getting from followers is kind of interesting, regular followers, favorites and increasing number of fashion followers. I'm pretty much pleased with the response and hope to make it big. It sort of resonates with my dream of supporting everything beautiful, creative and useful.

If you want just look for Lord Von Schmitt and you'll find the brilliant designs. 

Questions...

Why am I living? It is one question I ask myself everyday but I never get an answer, and I am afraid there will be no life left by the time I get the answer. So, what do I do in the mean time. Should I just be happy that I have no where to go or worry that I am just wandering aimlessly and it is gonna end one day without any happy memory... Should I put the fake happy face and live an ideal life which everyone wants me to do, be a good daughter, good friend, good person... or just be myself, give a little credit to God for putting so much effort in making me who I am. How do I find answers to my questions? How do I know anything is true or not? what if one day I get up and realize that all this was for nothing, because its all just a game, or a play, and it will restart tomorrow again and there will be same people, the very same silly excuses for not being better person, very same negative energies, very same creatures who pretend to be human... I don't mind good things starting over, but shouldn't there be an end for dark? why is it always present, hiding and lurking in corners to engulf us the moment we let go the shield of light. May be I should just keep trying to find the answers, because all will be lost if we stop trying.

Life always has some challenge to throw at you when you least expect it. Sometimes I wonder, would it be worth living if I had everything I wanted in life. Why would I slog through a day... to get what... to reach which goal... I think it would be such a waste of time to live that kind of life. Life should be fun to live, a new day, a new moment, a new target, only old thing would be me...

A beautiful morning

Getting up early and walking on the terrace could be such a satisfying experience I never knew till I did it this morning. The clear sky just cheered me up, as if saying all the clouds will clear up one day, just don't give up. The bright green of leaves all around me looked so beautiful, so pure... as if nothing can fade it ever... it's just etched in my memory forever. There are a lots of things like this in my memory, some good some bad, but all there still alive.

I was just remembering my childhood days of carefree laughter, spending evenings on roof watching light fading on the horizon, clouds changing color, and I felt it's all the same, nothing has changed. I don't have to feel grown up ever, I can always live in my bubble and be happy.

My tea was almost getting cold when i remembered, and it reminded me of my sis... running behind me with food, so that I would leave the book aside and eat something. So much love I have left behind, so much to come in coming days. I feel so blessed. :)

Bhag Milkha Bhag

I was so excited to see this movie after getting such good reviews, but it turned out to be short of my expectations. I thought the movie was based on a real story and it would have that sense of respect and responsibility in representing a person. However, the commercialization of script has ruined the charm. I didn't enjoy the romance part really and it wasn't worth to put this much footage on a broken romance. Yes, it did create a soft spot for Milkha, but I guess any athlete would rather be known for his achievements than his bleeding heart.

What I loved and appreciated in movie really was Farhan Akhtar. He has played his part so well that it is like a tribute to real character. The struggle, the fire, the disappointment, the innocence, the determination... He has played every emotion with perfection. I simply loved him in movie. The part showing Indo-Pak division and tragedy is also very touching. I am sure the real scene was much more horrific than the movie, but they have succeeded in creating the effect.

On the whole I would say it was good movie, Farhan takes most of the credit for it though, coz I cant really remember anyone else in the movie. It was an interesting story of a Legend, and I am glad someone did justice in playing the role. 

RabindraNath Tagore, a name very famous in intellectual world as one of the best poets of his time. His poetry is like a sweet lullaby, beauty caught in words. However, I saw his paintings, and really it was a bit disappointment. I know I am not qualified to judge a big personality, I am just expressing my feelings. I always thought paining to be an art which can show beauty in ugliest of the things. It has a charm, in smooth flow of one color to another, a rhythm in change of shades, sometimes light playing tricks with colors, its just mesmerizing. But I didn't get the feeling when I saw Tagore's paintings in an exhibition. I felt it had a kind of raw edge in it which is completely absent in his poetry. It makes me feel that may be there was a part of him which was a bit raw, kind of angular, sharp, and difficult. May be one day I'll be able to read his whole work in poetry and understand more about him, his deep thoughts flowing from one to another, changing shades with every word, and making him immortal in his poems.